i. Goal of Experiment: Attempt to determine if a connecting flight can be made in 30 minutes at Newark Liberty International Airport
ii. Hypotheses: A 75% probability exists that the flight will be late in arriving. In addition a 80% probablity exists that the connecting flight will be late in taking off leading to a damn good chance that the flight will be made.
iii. Theoretical Principle: Boyle's Newark Airport Blows Nuts Law will be utilized. The formula is as follows: S=(i*c)/((p*d)*100)
S= Suckage
i = incoming flight arrival time
c= connecting flight arrival time
p = number of pilots
d = blood alcohol level
iv. Materials:
1 737
1 shitty puddle jumper,
1 Newark Airport
1 Passenger (X)
1 black suitcase, carry on w/ 1 broken wheel and a broken handle
1 full laptop bag, weight 12.7 lbs
1023 obstacles (tourists/travellers/strollers/porters can be used)
v. Results:
- Inbound 737 flight from Seattle-->Newark arrives 10 minutes early.
- Tarmac delay for 30 minutes leaves 10 minutes to catch connecting "shitty puddle jumper" flight.
- Unexpected factor - 1023 obstacles within Newark Airport are mobile with high entropy causing pre-defined path to be recalculated causing a 0.37 factor increase in connection gate distance.
- Passenger X observed running at a mean speed of 12.4 mph through Terminal C at Newark Airport.
- Passenger X arrivess at connection gate in 9 minutes leaving 1 minute of time to catch scheduled connection flight.
- Connection flight (as hypothesized) is late by 2 hours.
- Passenger X makes connecting flight.
vi. Conclusion: "Boyle's Newark Airport Blows Nuts Law" holds true. In addition an unexpected result was discovered, Passenger X has become "That Guy".
*That Guy: The sweaty, huffing and puffing smelly mess of a man who has been able to draw that unwanted attention of over 37 people simultaneously. (AKA: Wasted Guy, Obnoxious Guy, That Dick and Who the Fuck Was That Guy"